Saturday, June 19, 2010

Great moments in IMDB history

'Child Actor turned Not Complete Failure' Division:

1. Astin, Sean. This lovable little tyke was acting at the age of 14, most notably in the movie The Goonies as Mikey Walsh. Astin followed that up with starring roles in Toy Soldiers and Rudy. Rather than becoming a crazy addict, like most child stars, he went on to have major roles in some of the biggest movies of the last decade including Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, and Alvin and the Chimpmunks: The Squeakquel.

2. Barrymore, Drew. What an odd life Drew Barrymore has lived. She played Gertie on E.T. at the tender age of seven. She was adorable. Then, she actually fell into the child actor stereotype. She became a troubled teen, but fortunately turned her life back around. The list of movies Barrymore has gone on to star in is lengthy, not to mention voice-over roles on the popular television cartoons The Simpsons and Family Guy. She went from child star to another wasted talent to one of the richest actresses in the world.

3. Brolin, Josh. Believe it or not, this leading man was also one of the spunky kids from the 1985 film The Goonies. However, where Sean Astin made his way on mainly bit parts and side characters, Josh Brolin went from child actor to major star as recently as just a few years ago. In just the last three years, at the age of 40, Brolin nabbed lead roles in No Country for Old Men, American Gangster, W., Milk, and Jonah Hex. With the track record of child stars going from famous to infamous so regularly, it is hard enough to have a successful career, let alone becoming a leading man on the big screen. Now I don't expect Jonah Hex to get Brolin any Grammy nods, but he has come a long way from The Goonies.

'Box Office Smashing Success' Division:

1. Bloom, Orlando. Mr. Bloom's actual acting ability/talent are not going to be addressed during this passage. That is for another blog. Richard Roeper probably already wrote that post. The fact is that Orland Bloom, having only had a substantial role in less than 20 films, has somehow managed to be a main character in six of the 30 top grossing films in the history of cinema. To take it a step further, the gross on Orlando Bloom films ranks him in the top 15 all-time, despite having so few movies to qualify with. For some perspective, Robert DeNiro slides in essentially even (depending on the source) with Orlando Bloom in total career gross despite being a part of more than three times as many films.

2. Smith, Will. He is a star. Will Smith went from a rap star to a television star to a movie icon. Everyone knows he is one of the most popular actors around. But you may not be aware of just how ridiculously successful he has been. Similarly to Bloom, Will Smith has not spent much time playing side characters or doing bit parts. He has fewer than 30 roles to his credit. However, when he stars in a movie, he makes it count. Will Smith is the only actor ever to star in eight consecutive films to domestically gross over $100 million. Those films also make Smith the only person to ever have eight consecutive movies open at number one in the box office. A couple of Smith's movies did not reach the $100 million plateau. One of them happened to be Ali, where he was nominated for an Oscar. In total, Smith was the leading man in 12 movies that made over $100 million in the U.S. alone. I suppose because he knows what got him there, and perhaps he read my previous post about sequels, here is a list of Will Smith projects in the works: Men in Black III, Bad Boys 3, Hancock 2, I Robot 2, I am Legend prequel, Independence Day 2, and Independence Day 3. Talk about milking the proverbial cash cow...

'Please Stop Starring in Movies' Division:

1. Rock, Chris. He is a tremendous comedian. I am not denying that. He is a hilarious man. He is not, however, a movie star. Venturing through Chris Rock's filmography is more depressing than Schindler's List. Since the turn of the century, Rock has been in ten bad movies. (I am including Grown Ups, which has not come out yet, but come on.) To be honest, the only GOOD movies he has been in were animated, children's movies. Dogma came out in 1999. That is an enjoyable movie. Since the year 2000, you could not pay me to sit and watch any movie where Chris Rock is acting. I would watch Madagascar with a baby cousin of mine, sure. But it seems if Rock supplies anything besides his voice, the movie is sure to flop.

Well there you have it: a quick journey through the Internet Movie Database. IMDB is guaranteed to waste any lazy afternoon. It's for nerds; it's YouTube for people who wish to not be visually stimulated. It's movie Wikipedia with no chance that some loser just edited the details to say that Will Smith starred in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

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