Miscellaneous Me

Oscars Edition

Best Quote:

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating and religion."

- Scott Adams

Best Depiction of a Nerd:

Watching offensive linemen run the 40 yard dash at the NFL scouting combine on NFL Network.

Runner-Up:

Watching spring training baseball games on MLB Network made up of a large group of players who will never be given a Major League at-bat in the regular season.

Best Original Score:

B.O.B.'s song "Magic" is utterly hypnotic.

Best Fraud:

Texas Rangers' starting pitcher C.J. Wilson threw 204 innings last year...130 1/3 MORE innings than he had ever pitched in a season in his career.

Maybe be wary; that's all I'm saying.

Maybe don't spend that early fantasy selection assuming he'll be a top 25 starter again.

Best Advice:

If frostbite occurs, do not rub the skin; avoid direct heat; never thaw the area if it is at risk of refreezing as that can cause severe tissue damage.

Best Liar:

New York Mets owner Fred Wilpon, not necessarily for knowing about Bernie Madoff's schemes but for pretending like the Mets would not have money issues this season.

Best Leading Man:

Who would win in a fight between Ender Wiggin and Paul Maud'dib?

What if Paul wasn't allowed to talk?

What if Ender thought it was just a game?

Best Nostalgic Moment:

Facebook created a new Oregon Trail game as well as a new version of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

Best Use of the English Language:

Wooly buggers and bitch creek nymphs are both proper fishing terms.

Runner-Up:

To "rendezvous at the rendezvous" is grammatically correct.

Best Director:

If San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich does not win Coach of the Year, it will just be because people expect him to be one of the best coaches and when he is, they take it for granted.

Best Actor:

Jimmer Fredette is running away with National Player of the Year. I can't wait until he's taking six shots and playing 18 minutes a game in the NBA next year.

Best Picture:

Hopefully Turner Broadcasting didn't end up taking the bite out of the NCAA Tournament by spreading game times out. Most of the thrill and appeal of March Madness was having bunches of games coming down to the wire and watching all the exciting endings. Stringing out these rounds will allow for viewers to watch many more complete games but it remains to be seen whether that is actually a good thing.